I never know what face to make when initiating FaceTime. it says Connecting & I get all excited
  • during the school year: eats every single edible thing i can find
  • during summer: idk i think i ate an almond today
When I gain new followers

amusingmurff:

image

communistbakery:

It’s not a phase mom I really am the next supreme

stayburned:

it seems that everyone i’m friends with is better friends with someone else and that really fucking sucks 

Is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me.
J.K. Rowling (via kushandwizdom)
willgrahamscock:

riddlemehiddleston:

mom would you pLEASE JUST INSTALL CHROME

I have seen hell


oh my fucking fuck
whiskeydrinking-operating:

winterduck:

shar-fireshar:

whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said  “Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad) I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

😍

I’d find that kid and return his friend to him with the good news.

I wanted to but the it box it came in (with the return address) accidentally got taken out to the burn pit before I could write it down. My only hope is for this post to go insanely viral and her hear about it and that he did his job, which was helping me do mine.

allmymetaphors:

ppl always ask me “”what are you going to do with your degree”“ and “"if you wanna get a PHD how do you plan on paying for it"" and ""where are you gonna move after college"" but here is the thing:

i am very powerful and cute and im gonna float through this world one day at a time. please leave me alone. 

crimsonday:

sqvad:

america is never going to win this war on drugs holy shit

What’s that flying across the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? NO it’s a bag of CRACK COCAINE
trustwurthy